Dear Arkansas,

I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you that your crazy, curvy, unmarked roads have almost taken my life three times in the past three days. Get signs now. I'd also like to inform you that you are a very complicated state to get around in and I have been lost ten times since Sunday. However, I'd like to thank you for still being a beautiful state, and I'd appreciate it if you could stop the rain, because I have a wedding to go to.
Sincerely your ex-resident,
Heather H.